Premiere: Ella Vos Unveils Emotional Video for “White Noise”

Premiere: Ella Vos Unveils Emotional Video for “White Noise”

The rising singer talks "White Noise" and the battle with postpartum depression that inspired her music.

The rising singer talks "White Noise" and the battle with postpartum depression that inspired her music.

Text: Jake Viswanath

Rising singer-songwriter Ella Vos is experiencing unexpected success with her debut single “White Noise,” gaining over nine million Spotify streams since release, a stark contrast to what she was going through while writing the song. She originally started singing filler words (“cause it’s all white noise swallowing me”) for a chorus melody she had created before realizing that she was voicing how she was feeling at the time in her life for the first time.

“It was really what I was feeling at that moment, because I wasn't ready to become a mother,” Vos reveals to V. “I didn't know how hard it was going to be. I really didn't think that I was ready to have kids yet, and it was a difficult time where I felt really suffocated by everything and it was hard to talk about that to anyone.”

Vos outlines her journey going through postpartum depression in the video for “White Noise,” premiering only on V, but does so in a very subtle manner, taking cues from the track’s minimal bouncy production and her self-described “raw and natural” aesthetic. “I wanted to tell that story and keep it really simple,” she said. “I wanted to just show this woman who looks exhausted and doesn't know who she is anymore, and her being pulled and pushed around by this outer force who is telling her ‘This is what you need to become now, this is the path that you're on,’ and her going along in that glazed-over, unaffected way.”

Vos first got her start in music at only five years old when she took up an interest in classical piano performance, even going on to study the practice in college before receiving an opportunity to change her mind, like many wanderlust university kids. “I just realized that I didn't want to do something that was so lonely, and I had this opportunity to join this indie rock band,” she said. “I was like, ‘That's cool, because I can actually write songs that can actually give something to people and connect with people, and write about things that matter to me.’”

Her experience in indie bands thereafter gave her the start in songwriting that eventually led to an itch to go solo once more. Once she found out about her pregnancy, all bets were off.  “I just felt that everything needed to be more flexible and on my terms. It was something that I had wanted to do for a long and I put it off, and then just through the experience of being pregnant and having a baby and becoming a mom, I had so much more things I wanted to say and needed to write about,” she explained. “It was my decision but I also felt it was the only decision.”

While the excitement to become a mom was palpable in the beginning, the all-too-common postpartum depression took over, leading her to feel uncomfortable talking about her true emotions. This suppression of her feelings lead to “White Noise,” a haunting and propulsive sweeper with a mind-bending orchestral synth breakdown and lines that effectively hint at the pain lying behind her voice without giving too much away. It perfectly captures the agony of going through depression and not being able to express your feelings in fear of shame.

“If I tried to talk about how difficult it was, or how unhappy I was, I felt really shut down. That's where a lot of the words in the song came from, having these feelings that I thought were taboo to talk about. If I did talk about being unhappy, I always got these shut down responses of like ‘Oh well, that's just how it is’ or ‘It'll be fine, you're just tired’ or ‘That's just what you have to go through’. That's what the song is about essentially, not just even the struggle of postpartum depression but even realizing, ‘Oh, this is what I'm going through’ and that it’s ok to talk about it.” By doing so, Vos lends a unique voice to the music industry, shedding light on a topic that goes unacknowledged in the entertainment world.

Vos lets her story play out in the video using nothing but pure emotion and a posse of beautiful veiled dancers. “Sometimes I visualize the songs and I just imagine certain things that I feel like a word or the song itself doesn't fully describe, but this one simple movement brings it to life and gives it so much more,” she explains about her decision to include choreography for such a vulnerable song. And much like in real life, the singer opted for the clip to have a subtlety optimistic and potentially tear-jerking ending.

“The end of the video is the woman hitting that point where it's like, ‘This is not who I am. I'm gonna break free of this and I don't need to be put on a pedestal. I don't need to look like this, I am going to make my own path.’And then have that washing clean, returning back to your true self and seeing that real beauty again at the end,” she said, before chucking and revealing “That is my son at the end of the video.”

Vos plans to bring “White Noise” and her other beautiful tracks to life in live settings later this year, after performing live for the first time only a couple weeks ago (“I could hear people whispering out in the crowd, which was really cool but also really nerve-wracking”), as well as keeping on putting out constant singles for our enjoyment. As far as a full album or tour in the pipeline? She only teases right now, “We’ll see."

UP NEXT

Watch Gucci Fall 2017 Live