Recasting Game Of Thrones With Our Favorite Celebrities

Recasting Game Of Thrones With Our Favorite Celebrities

Who would play who in our reimagined world of Westeros.

Who would play who in our reimagined world of Westeros.

Text: William Defebaugh

The sixth season of Game Of Thrones has come to a close, leaving an endless void of cinematic violence and glory in its wake. Aside from the shocking deaths, long-awaited triumphs, and overall plot acceleration, the most recent season was one of the most victorious in the show's history because it went back to doing what the series does best: drawing parallels between Westeros and the Western world.

As much as we love the fire-breathing dragons and white walkers, Game of Thrones ultimately succeeds not in its fantasy, but in its reality. Emily Nussbaum, television critic for The New Yorker, wrote a brilliant piece comparing the politics and sexuality of the series to those of our own political climate. But what about the politics of popular culture? As harrowing a fact as it may be, the politics of celebrity and popular music are of equal (if not more) importance to the average American in 2016, and often as complex.

Who hates who, who stabbed who in the back, who's sleeping with who—these are all questions that could just as easily be asked about HBO's hit series as they could Hollywood. And then there is the great GOT feminist debate: just as the series highlights strong women, so does the music industry—but it also pits them against one another. The very concept of celebrity today is a cut-throat Game of Thrones in and of itself, with endless pressure to succeed and annihilate the competition.

All of the aforementioned reasons made it oh so tempting—and easy—to recast the series with the tastemakers and troublemakers of our modern world. Read on to find out who would play who.

Madonna as Lady Melisandre

Why? Some may find her actions questionable, but at the end of the day, she’s ageless, creates magic, and gives birth to killer music.

Drake as Jon Snow

Why? He’s from The North, is the rightful heir to the throne, always looks sad, and basically came back from the dead after Degrassi. Plus he made out with Madonna (Melisandre).

Lady Gaga as Daenerys Stormborn

Why? She made a name for herself by preaching freedom, and liberating her fans from oppression of identity, teaching them to be who they are. Now she has an army of monsters (dragons!) that follow her loyally. And let’s not forget that she hatched from a giant egg at the Grammys.

Katy Perry as Cersei Lannister

Why? She’s a badass bitch with a (sometimes disputed) claim to the throne, and she’s always pitted against Gaga (Daenerys).

Orlando Bloom as Jamie Lannister

Why? He’s beautiful, good with a sword, and dating Katy Perry. Duh.

Rihanna as Tyrion Lannister

Why? She loves having a good time (and strippers), but she’s still a wise businesswoman, and we're always rooting for her. Not to mention, just as a Lannister always pays his debts, bitch better have her money.

Miley Cyrus as Arya Stark

Why? She wasn’t afraid to shed her former life and childhood innocence as Hannah Montana to become who she was destined to be.

Donald Trump as Ramsay Bolton

Why? He’s a child and a sociopath, and he would feed us all to the dogs.

Hillary Clinton as Sansa Stark

Why? She is in direct opposition to Trump (Bolton), faces hell as the first female presidential nominee, and she’s going to save us all in the end.

Bill Clinton as Littlefinger

Why? He’s good with money and makes questionable romantic choices, but at the end of the day, he loves Hillary (Sansa).

Gwendolyne Christie as Brienne of Tarth

Why? Because no one could play her better. Christie is a die-hard fashion victim who is brave and unafraid of taking a risk.

Taylor Swift as Lady Tyrell, Queen of Thorns

Why? She pulls all of the strings, speaks her mind, and watches over her #squad. Plus, she’s classy.

Troye Sivan as Loras Tyrell

Why? He’s a cute gay boy with adorable curls, and he's watched over by Taylor Swift (Lady Tyrell).

Selena Gomez as Margaery Tyrell

Why? In the face of struggle, she finds grace through faith—but you know that this good girl isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty. Plus, she’s close to Taylor (Lady Tyrell), and it all comes back to Taylor, doesn’t it?

Justin Bieber as King Tommen

Why? He’s cute, blond, and loves Selena (Margaery). We’d be willing to bet that he would launch himself out of a window if she were to die in a wildfire, too.

Perez Hilton as Lord Varys

Why? He’s the master of knowing everybody’s business.

Sia as Jagen H’ghar, the Faceless Man

Why? This one should be pretty self-explanatory.

Tavi Gevinson as Bran Stark

Why? She’s a young visionary—the three-eyed raven of pop culture.

Lorde as Lyanna Mormont

Why? She's little, stands up for what she believes in, and knows how to spill the Tea.

The Kardashians as The Sand Snakes

Why? They’re sexy, ruthless, conniving, and utterly brilliant in their quest for power.

Kanye West as Oberyn Martell

Why? He loves Kim (Ellaria of The Sand Snakes), is powerful and sexually progressive, but some find his ego too big.

Beyoncé as The Tree of Life

Why? She’s all-knowing, all-powerful, and at the center of everything.

Jay Z as Hodor

Why? He keeps doing the same thing over and over again (at least according to Lemonade, anyway), but in the end he comes through for Bey (The Tree of Life).

The Media as The White Walkers

Why? Because we were created to serve people, but we've turned malicious, and nothing can stop us.

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