Triggered: Beyoncé Incites Scary New Trend, Adele Gets the Confetti Treatment

Triggered: Beyoncé Incites Scary New Trend, Adele Gets the Confetti Treatment

Each week, writer Mathias Rosenzweig reflects on the events in pop culture that left him triggered.

Each week, writer Mathias Rosenzweig reflects on the events in pop culture that left him triggered.

Text: MATHIAS ROSENZWEIG

According to Kylie Jenner, Kylie Jenner has never had a nose job, butt implants, or breast implants. Feels an awful lot like when I deny using FaceTune. #TRIGGERED

200 people walked out of Amy Schumer’s standup show in Tampa, Florida after she dove in on Donald Trump. I received a similar reaction to my 4th grade talent show rendition of “Seasons of Love.” #TRIGGERED

Beyoncé accidentally ripped out her earring and bled onstage, kick starting a disturbing trend of fans cutting their own ears in tribute. Meanwhile, I’m still trying to make “fetch” happen. #TRIGGERED

Martha Stewart’s new cooking show with Snoop Dogg will feature DJ Khaled, Robin Thicke, Bella Thorne and 50 Cent. A gentle reminder that the 75-year-old Stewart has a more popping social life than I do. #TRIGGERED

Adele’s boyfriend surprised her on their 5th anniversary by showering her with hundreds of confetti love notes during her concert. I maintain my fear of objects falling from the sky. #TRIGGERED

My little brother asked me if it was years of watching Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie’s The Simple Life that made me want to live “that lifestyle.” The answer was yes. #TRIGGERED

Joe Jonas let the Reddit world know that Twilight star Ashley Green was the first girl he bumped uglies with. Lance Bass is apparently not pleased with the whole “girl” technicality. #TRIGGERED

Bob Dylan has yet to respond to the Nobel Prize committee after they named him the first musician to receive the prize for literature. Similarly, Trent from Tinder remains silent when I ask for his phone number, address and blood type. #TRIGGERED

UP NEXT

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Announces 2017 Induction Nominees