Triggered: Mariah's World, J Law's Near-Manslaughter, and Bieber's Paparazzi Barter

Triggered: Mariah's World, J Law's Near-Manslaughter, and Bieber's Paparazzi Barter

Each week, writer Mathias Rosenzweig reflects on the events in pop culture that left him triggered.

Each week, writer Mathias Rosenzweig reflects on the events in pop culture that left him triggered.

Text: MATHIAS ROSENZWEIG

Justin Bieber recently tried to negotiate with paparazzi, saying, “Just take your photos and act like you’re not even there.” My first Grindr experience suddenly springs to mind. #TRIGGERED

Reportedly, Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston signed a relationship contract saying he’d need to approve any songs written about him. Really wish Kanye had done the same with me before he put out “Gold Digger.” #TRIGGERED

Keke Palmer and Abigail Breslin filmed fellow Scream Queens stars Billie Lourd and Taylor Lautner making out at an L.A. club. Turns out celebrities have horrible friends, too. #TRIGGERED

I ship them so hard!!! 😍😗❤💏 #taylorlautner #billielourd #teamtaylourd #lovethis Source >> lauren palmer snapchat

A video posted by Taylor Lautner Mania 2 (@taylorlautnermania2) on

Jennifer Lawrence tried scratching an itch on her ass against a giant boulder, causing it to fly down a hill and nearly kill a man. Kris Jenner is reportedly pissed that Lawrence is stealing the Kardashians' shtick. #TRIGGERED

Speaking of the Kardashians, TMZ has obtained documents showing that Kim, Kourtney and Khloe are attempting to block Blac Chyna from trademarking the name “Angela Renee Kardashian,” saying they would “suffer damage including irreparable injury to their reputation and goodwill.” This is basically the “you can’t sit with us” heard round the world. #TRIGGERED

Mariah Carey kicked off her new reality show by impersonating her svelte alter ego, “Bianca.” Because one inflated ego wasn’t big enough for Mariah ‘s World. #TRIGGERED

The British Fashion Council named Jaden Smith and his sister the new style icons of 2016. So Jaden wears a dress and gets an award; I wear one and my dad won’t return my calls. #TRIGGERED

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