5 Easy-To-Take-Care-Of Plants During the Winter Season

5 Easy-To-Take-Care-Of Plants During the Winter Season

For all you serial plant killers out there (me included), here are five plants that will survive the cold season despite your obvious neglect.

For all you serial plant killers out there (me included), here are five plants that will survive the cold season despite your obvious neglect.

Text: AJ Longabaugh

The Cactus

You probably recognize it as a simple desert staple, but the cactus is an iconic, complex, people-person plant that only needs a windowsill that provides it with plenty of rays and natural light. Seriously, find a chic-ass pot, fill it with soil and lil rocks, and just water it every once in awhile. Like truly, you could go like 2 or 3 weeks without paying attention to it and it will still be living its best fucking life. Eeeeoowww.


The Succulent... Ok, so the thing about this bitch is that it's the least needy of them all. It literally sucks up the water that you give it, and like me, on the rare occasion it has chugged an entire bottle of champagne and half a bottle of tequila, simple hydration is an easy-peasy cure. I mean, if we're being honest, it'd probably be fine if you fed it the red flavored Gatorade you survive on. Long story short: the succulent slays.

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Considered a fashionista among its peers, lavender sissies its walk as an at home, must-have staple. If you're an essential oil hoe or a bona fide basic bitch, lavender is a necessary part of your everyday life whether you realize it or not. Why not pot a few lil seeds and grow your own so you can venture into your own Etsy account or some shit selling bomb ass lavender potions or flower crowns or something.


Ok girl, you love pizza right? Me fucking too. So let's say you decide to treat yourself and act all bougie and shit, and decide to make a homemade pizza with like expensive cheese and sausage, right? Well, the only garnish besides extra cheese that matters is basil (am I right?). Next time you are in a Whole Foods spending your whole paycheck, snag one of the potted beauts up front, take it home, name that bitch, and watch it grow into an endless basil goddess that will provide you enough fresh flavor that you'll never have to call yourself a stupid slut ever again because you forgot to buy basil at the store. Become the domesticated bitch you were born to be and hop on the at-home basil train.


Finishing up my roster of easy plants, this one is probably the most essential as it it's the only one that you can put in your glass of vodka, gin, and rum: Mint. This boy loves a good mojito or bootleg and y'all, it's the mint that makes or breaks it. I'm telling you from experience, homegrown mint is the absolute shit and creates a cocktail that is truly 10s, 10s, 10s across the board. Pot it once, and as quickly as the arrival of Christmas morning, you'll have an entire bush of mint that's ready for all your alcoholic libations and/or your overly scratched, over-served habitual needs.



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