Stella's Obsessions: How to Celebrate Father’s Day When You Have Daddy Issues

Stella's Obsessions: How to Celebrate Father’s Day When You Have Daddy Issues

Walking into a drug store shopping for paper towels and passing by greeting cards for Dad gives me the impulse to treat myself to a crisp, cotton white button down for me, myself, and I.

Walking into a drug store shopping for paper towels and passing by greeting cards for Dad gives me the impulse to treat myself to a crisp, cotton white button down for me, myself, and I.

Text: Stella Pak

As a weekly column, V's Contributing Beauty Editor Stella Pak indulges us with her current obsessions.

My father and I stopped talking over ten years ago. I can write a million excuses for him on why he chose to stop calling me due to his shortcomings, but recently, I chose not to expect a call any longer by blocking his number. I feel stronger not waiting. When Father’s Day rolls around this time of year, it makes me cringe when I get emails from a shop with the subject line, The Perfect Gift for the Perfect Dad. Sometimes, it’s worst when I have to attend weddings and I watch fathers walk their daughters down the aisle with tears in their eyes. I usually run to the bar when the father gives a poignant speech about what it was like to watch their daughter grow up to be a woman to avoid sobbing knowing that my father wouldn’t have much to say when I get married one day.

It’s easy not to recognize the void in my life the rest of the year, but right now I feel a weird numbness walking into a drug store shopping for paper towels and passing by greeting cards for Dad. If you’re one of the lucky ones whose father was supportive and present in your life, I hope you cherish him, thank him and love him, and express your appreciation.

But if you fall into my category, become the father you always wanted. I have a strange ritual for myself when I feel weak and vulnerable and feel a need of guidance from a father figure. I buy myself a couple of white button down shirts to become the masculine ideal within the woman in me. A cotton shirt is perfect for the hot summers inside the house, work, and dinner. Thrown over a bralette to keep me at ease, the Steeplechase Bralette from Outdoor Voices in Dove has a deep V that line down with the buttons if you prefer to wear your shirt loose and casual with slivers of white gold chains.

I realized how liberating it was to own my independence and not become a victim of abandonment. Or expect another man to save me on a white horse. I mentally started taking the reins of my life and became my own knight in my white button down. And why not do good while you’re at it? Until June 17, Mr.Porter is supporting the Good+ Foundation where all proceeds of their curated white shirts will go to the non-profit organization that provides a safety net of social services, education, and support for fathers and families living in poverty. Why not support the fathers who try?

With that, I’ve also decided not to love men who don’t believe I’m perfect enough or those who I know will soon abandon me due to their own short comings or insecurities. Let’s not become so predictable in our present lives.

Credits: COVER PHOTO FROM V98 PHOTOGRAPHED BY INEZ & VINOODH

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