When Sarah Pidgeon joins our call, her head is already spinning with all the packing and unpacking ahead of her. She’s somewhere in Australia, doing her best to stay grounded while crisscrossing the globe for work—whether that means attending the Met Gala, appearing on late-night television, or slipping into a clandestine Hollywood meeting about whatever comes next.

Before starring in Ryan Murphy’s culturally inescapable Love Story: John F. Kennedy Jr. & Carolyn Bessette, Pidgeon was already an acclaimed actress, with television roles, films, and even a Tony Award nomination to her name. But her portrayal of beloved ’90s icon Carolyn Bessette Kennedy has propelled her into a new realm of visibility. It’s a particularly intriguing turn, given that Bessette Kennedy spent much of her final years trying to protect her privacy from the relentless media attention surrounding both herself and her husband, John F. Kennedy Jr., one of the most famous men in the world. As she steps into a new chapter of her career, Pidgeon reflects on navigating the transition, being photographed—and critiqued—while filming in New York City, and why a career in Hollywood can often feel like one gamble after another.

MATHIAS ROSENZWEIG: You’ve already had a successful career on Broadway and in theater, but this show has taken your visibility to a completely different level. Beyond acting itself, there are suddenly magazine covers, brand partnerships, interviews, and a much busier schedule. What has it been like adjusting to that new level of attention and opportunity?

SARAH PIDGEON: The belief I had before entering the industry, trying to access it while I was studying in school, has remained the same, but it’s become more nuanced: if I do good work with good people, then I’ll be happy, and my career will inevitably lead to the next thing. Now, as you said, there are so many parts at play. With the good fortune of being in a resonant project a lot of people have seen, there is more opportunity, and I am so grateful for that. It’s only been a couple of months. I certainly still feel like I have to fight for jobs. 

MR: It remains a gamble. From the outside, people tend to think there’s a formula: you have a hit, then you get the big movie, then the next thing happens. But when you actually look at people’s careers, it’s rarely that straightforward. 

SP: The itchiness I feel is from asking myself more and more, what type of artist do I want to be? What avenue of character acting do I want to explore? You don’t always have the answers. I know I have certain tastes and things I gravitate towards what I can’t even put into words. So, asking myself this unanswerable question, what do I want to do and what do I want to be, feels very ephemeral to me. It’s like trying to define where I’m at now, while also not having any perspective on what this moment is, or this turning point in my life.

MR: Carolyn Bessette was someone who thought deeply about privacy, visibility, and how she was perceived. As your own profile has grown through this role, have you found yourself relating to those concerns anew?

SP: That was top of mind the entire production because it was a big theme we were exploring. Especially in the latter half of our series, understanding or attempting to understand Carolyn as a person before and after this event of becoming suddenly this public figure. We were shooting some of these moments in the series on the streets of New York, so there was a lot of public interest, whether or not people knew what we were shooting. It was a feeling of being looked at, plus paparazzi. There were articles written about what we were making before we even finished.

MR: And to the point where things were changed because of these articles coming out before the show was even finished—

SP: Yeah, it was a whirlwind of a summer for so many reasons. Life and art sort of folded in on itself, I felt in many moments like, well, my life is so different from Carolyn’s, and portraying someone on TV is very different from having a lived experience of existing in New York. There were a lot of moments where I felt my central nervous system firing in a way that I would imagine hers did as well, despite the scenarios being different. I think in terms of reckoning with a sense of public perception, it is a strange thing for any of us to feel like we’re being perceived, and I don’t even particularly enjoy watching what I’ve done.

MR: Of course! It’s like listening to your own voice on a voicemail. 

SP: It’s tiny ego deaths, and I think this would stay true performing a character…This was true before I played Carolyn, and even more so afterwards. Privacy is something that’s very… I guess ‘sacred’ sounds really loaded, but I think it is something that’s sacred, and it should be protected. I would like to protect it, at least. But we live in an age where everyone has a phone, and anyone can… hell, I took a picture of some really cute old ladies walking together today in the park. I’m guilty of that as well. We exist in a world where we can be frozen in these moments, or there can be a discussion about you from people that you don’t know personally, but have a sort of parasocial relationship with you. It’s a funny stone to turn over in your head. I’m grateful I’ve done something that’s resonated with people, that has stuck with people, and that they’re invested in what I do next. But at the same time, I don’t always like being watched.

MR: Carolyn’s desire for privacy feels almost countercultural today, when we’re encouraged to share everything online. Do you think that’s part of why the story resonated so deeply with audiences?

SP: Yeah, there’s so much nostalgia in the conversations I’ve had after the show came out, especially with people who were in New York in the ’90s. It was this precipice before the turn of the century, and so much has changed rapidly from 2000 onward. That time in the ’90s was this ‘you had to be there’ moment. There was no ability to feel like you attended someone’s party because you watched it on Instagram. There was more anonymity, and probably that connectedness we’re longing for. Even this new generation that hasn’t known life without iPhones is yearning for that. They have dumb phones, and there’s this sense that we’re trying to claw back community, communal spaces, and meetups. We’ve become quite insular. I think at that time there was more encouragement to be out in the world around you.

MR: I know the show has been out for a while now, and you’ve spoken about it a lot, but Carolyn feels like one of those rare characters who stays with both the audience and the actor. Beyond the career impact, what has stayed with you personally? What did you carry away from researching and playing her that remains part of your life today?

SP: I think being able to portray her at this time in my life felt very pivotal. Going back to navigating this career, I think I was so self-possessed and had so much confidence when I was in college. Then I got out, and it’s hard moving to New York when you’re 21. I’m from the Midwest, and it was definitely very different from the suburb of Detroit that I grew up in. Then you’re trying to make something of your life as a young adult in this career, and I think I really started to lose this sense of backing myself, and maybe confidence. The thing I learned about Carolyn, and tried to imbue into my performance, was this self-possession, this confidence. I want to say a little bit of stubbornness, but she knew what she… she had taste, which is evident by her clothes. It goes to show the level of taste she had because of how quickly she rose at Calvin Klein. I think she really backed herself, and I felt that in the way that I spoke as Carolyn. Oftentimes, she would begin a sentence and end the sentence on one breath. It’s not always true—don’t fact-check me—but I tried to work on this sense of breath because I have this Midwestern nicety to me, and I just want everyone to be comfortable. I think she felt so sure of herself and was so in her body, on her voice, and present with people. That’s what made people feel so comfortable.

MR: Agreed. Or that’s very much the impression she gives off, and what people say. 

SP: She was just this force. In everything I read, dozens of people would recount how they’d be in the middle of conversations at dinner, and then she would walk into the room unannounced, and everyone’s head would turn. She just had this presence. Playing someone like that at this time, where I’m finally getting my adult legs—you cosplay as an adult for a while in your twenties, and I think I’m still cosplaying as an adult—but there’s more I have to answer for. Being able to play her, and having that rub off on me for hours every single day, just playing someone who was in their body and had focus in their eyes and wasn’t fiddling. It made me more comfortable in that confidence of myself. I also had to have that confidence to make choices about someone who was sort of unknowable. Every single day I’d be like, ‘Am I doing it right?’ I’d look at photos of her and try to contort my face to capture that physically. I would find photos that matched whatever feeling was evoked in them with the scene that I had to do, so there was some sort of physical match. Because there’s very little video or recordings of her speaking. There’s some of her walking, but it’s mainly when she’s being chased by paparazzi, and you walk so differently when a strange man is following you with a camera. It was quite uncomfortable and really scary, but I had to summon this sense of confidence that I think Carolyn also had to make these decisions about how I wanted to portray her. I don’t want to say reintroduce, but embody this person who is, in many ways, an enigma, but is also really beloved and remembered by people who knew her, and people who were aware of her in the ’90s. I guess that’s all wrapped up in how she’s rubbed off on me. She started rubbing off on me before I even figured out who she was.

MR: She’s often in rooms with people who are more powerful or influential than she is, but she never seems intimidated by them. She never shrinks herself. There’s this sense that she knows exactly who she is and doesn’t see anyone as being above her. That’s something I found really inspiring, and honestly something I’ll probably carry with me. My last question is about Paul Anthony Kelly. The chemistry between the two of you was incredible. What was it like collaborating with him, and what did you enjoy most about working together?

SP: Yeah, he’s so incredibly lovely. There are not enough hours in the day to talk about how incredible Paul Anthony Kelly is. That was true from the energy he walked into the audition room with, and once he got the job, it was just like, we’re doing this together. He was so unwavering in his commitment to not only portraying John, but also being such an incredible scene partner and friend. People ask us how we came up with the chemistry a lot, but I don’t really know how you do that. It just happens. If there’s one thing I had to say, I think it was this friendship and trust that we developed with each other. It’s such a weird thing to experience the making of any TV show, and this one especially. He understands me, and I understand him in a way that not many other people do because of this experience. He’s just so charming. The same way that Carolyn had ease, he has this ease. He’s so sweet. It was incredible seeing Paul during the pilot become the Paul on episode nine, when he took his last bow, and everyone clapped and cheered him on. It was so incredible to work with someone every single day and see how they are growing and navigating. There’s just so much goodness in that man, and because of that, I think nothing but good will continue to come his way. He’s so deserving of everything. But I think Paul is going to be in my life for a really long time. I hope it’s not only as a friend, which I’m sure it will be, but also as a collaborator and co-star, and whatever else we’ll get up to together. I wouldn’t have traded it for the world.

This cover story appears in the pages of V161: now available for purchase!

Photography Luigi & Iango

Fashion Arut Arustamyan

Creative Director / Editor-in-Chief Stephen Gan

Makeup Georgi Sandev (Forward Artists)

Hair Mari Watase (87 Artists) using Oribe

Manicure Leanne Woodley (See Management) using CND

Casting Greg Krelenstein (GK-LD)

Editor Kev Ponce

Fashion Market Editor Copelyn Bengel

Styling Assistant Gabby Buchan

Photo Assistant & Studio Manager Francisco Betancourt

Production Louis Guillemain (2b Management)

Cinematographer Santiago Montes