Nico Carney thinks men should want to smell better. The 26-year-old stand-up comedian and writer’s mission is to use humor to guide men to their full potential. His central piece of advice to his male peers: “Be introspective. How do you want to dress? How do you want to move through the world? Who do you want to be?” In just two years, after leaving the relaxed open mic circuit of his hometown, Savannah, Georgia, Carney has risen to the top of New York City’s comedy scene. His material relies on a playful candor to canvas his experience as a trans man. “I’m a man,” says Carney before clarifying, “but not like that.” Carney co-hosts a popular monthly show, BOYS’ CLUB, at the East Village’s quintessential Club Cumming and was a select for the 2022 ‘Netflix Is A Joke’ Festival.

Despite family support, Carney did not have a linear transition. “I presented as a boy until I was twelve. I had short hair, played sports,” he said, adding, “There was a period when one of my parents called me Michael.” He was socialized to female gender norms in middle school when the gender division became more pronounced. Carney came out as lesbian in 2018 in a place he deems cliché: the Division 1 women’s soccer team at Wake Forest University. Upon moving to New York in 2021, he began his social and medical transition.

A former sketch comic in college, Carney used joke writing to process the unpredictable flux of transitioning. “It helped me put concise words to my feelings and build self-esteem. I could talk about something targeted and taboo in a way that’s like, ‘This is funny now. This is silly.’ It was a beautiful way to understand myself.”

Still, Carney needs to see the proof of delivery. “On stage, I know I’m going to end with a punchline– I have control.” But if a joke fails, he bears the weight threefold: “Oh, that wasn’t funny, and you’re trans, and you’re on stage so everyone is looking at you.” His natural confidence conflicts with an intense pressure to tell his story right. But in reclaiming his identity, he already has. Carney is unabashed and proud to be trans. “This is who I am. Nobody can take this from me again,” he says, referencing middle school, “This is mine.”

Carney extracts a universal lesson from the trans experience: Change what does not resonate with you. He implores us to do the same, saying, “I don’t need to stay in this job or talk to this person that’s mean to me. I can take control of my life. I’m going to be my- self and I’m going to live that out loud.” He pauses, then continues. “I’m choosing me. I’m taking a chance and I hope it goes okay.”

Everyone can take a page from Carney’s book.

This story appears in the pages of VMAN 52: now available for purchase!

Photography Daniel Sachon

Fashion Soki Mak

Grooming Michelle Harvey (Opus Beauty)

Executive producer Dan Cingari

Photo assistant Ryan Hacket

Stylist assistant Jack Wilson

Location Smashbox Studios